Rantings. I should be more thankful!

That’s just not me~
I’m a competitive kind of person. I don’t like to lose. And I hate being second best. That’s me. Good is never enough for me. That’s why it’s so hard for me to take when I’m not the best in whatever I do. I’m not like some people who got not-so-great results in, say, SOCA and still smile and laugh about it. I just can’t understand it if someone’s like that. Huhu. If I was that person, I’d never tell anyone how I did and I’d just mope by myself.
I know that I shouldn’t be like this, I should be more thankful but sometimes I just can’t help it. I just get so mad at myself for not doing better. For example during SOCA [yes SOCA is still on my mind] someone got the same case as me, the same Dosen as me, the same day as me, and yet that person did so much better. SO much better! A gazillion times better than me. And I’d blame myself all over again. I know, I know. Rezeki masing-masing. Dah xde rezeki kan, who are we to question His doings? It just wasn’t my time yet. But I’m only human, you know? I’m not questioning qada’ n qadar here, I’m questioning myself. Haven’t I already learned my lesson? Enough is enough, right? Don’t repeat your past mistakes. You know you don’t want to go through it all over again. Don’t you? So why don’t you try harder??
Sometimes I think I’m so hard on myself. That I shouldn’t beat myself up so much. I know I think too much sometimes. Look here. SOCA was over last week, LAST WEEK and I still can’t get it out of my mind. Every time I hear anybody talking about it, I keep remembering how I let myself down. But then I’d force myself to stop thinking about it. Come on la Ana, get over yourself. Okay, you didn’t do as great as you expected big deal! There are bigger things going on in this world… Just move on and make sure you do better next time, alright?
Easier said than done. Easier said than done.
P:s/ Kecik [the little kitten] makin kurus n macam sakit je. I don’t know if he can make it. L

Reminder for the soul

“Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui kematian, tapi mengapa ia masih tertawa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang tahu bahawa dunia adalah sementara, tapi mengapa ia sangat mencintainya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui semua urusan telah ditakdirkan, tapi mengapa ia takut kehilangan;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui bahwa hisab adalah suatu kepastian, tapi mengapa ia tetap mengum
pulkan harta dan menghitung-hitungnya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui panasnya api neraka, tapi mengapa ia tetap berbuat dosa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengaku mengenal Allah, tapi mengapa ia meminta tolong kepada selain-Nya;

Aku hairan kepada orang yang mengaku mengetahui kenikmatan syurga, tapi mengapa ia merasa hidup tenang di dunia;

Dan aku hairan kepada orang yang mengetahui syaitan adalah musuhnya, tapi mengapa ia mentaatinya.”

Uthman bin Affan Radhiyallahu anhu
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Masa umpama pedang