That’s just not me~
I’m a competitive kind of person. I don’t like to lose. And I hate being second best. That’s me. Good is never enough for me. That’s why it’s so hard for me to take when I’m not the best in whatever I do. I’m not like some people who got not-so-great results in, say, SOCA and still smile and laugh about it. I just can’t understand it if someone’s like that. Huhu. If I was that person, I’d never tell anyone how I did and I’d just mope by myself.
I know that I shouldn’t be like this, I should be more thankful but sometimes I just can’t help it. I just get so mad at myself for not doing better. For example during SOCA [yes SOCA is still on my mind] someone got the same case as me, the same Dosen as me, the same day as me, and yet that person did so much better. SO much better! A gazillion times better than me. And I’d blame myself all over again. I know, I know. Rezeki masing-masing. Dah xde rezeki kan, who are we to question His doings? It just wasn’t my time yet. But I’m only human, you know? I’m not questioning qada’ n qadar here, I’m questioning myself. Haven’t I already learned my lesson? Enough is enough, right? Don’t repeat your past mistakes. You know you don’t want to go through it all over again. Don’t you? So why don’t you try harder??
Sometimes I think I’m so hard on myself. That I shouldn’t beat myself up so much. I know I think too much sometimes. Look here. SOCA was over last week, LAST WEEK and I still can’t get it out of my mind. Every time I hear anybody talking about it, I keep remembering how I let myself down. But then I’d force myself to stop thinking about it. Come on la Ana, get over yourself. Okay, you didn’t do as great as you expected big deal! There are bigger things going on in this world… Just move on and make sure you do better next time, alright?
Easier said than done. Easier said than done.
P:s/ Kecik [the little kitten] makin kurus n macam sakit je. I don’t know if he can make it. L
I’m a competitive kind of person. I don’t like to lose. And I hate being second best. That’s me. Good is never enough for me. That’s why it’s so hard for me to take when I’m not the best in whatever I do. I’m not like some people who got not-so-great results in, say, SOCA and still smile and laugh about it. I just can’t understand it if someone’s like that. Huhu. If I was that person, I’d never tell anyone how I did and I’d just mope by myself.
I know that I shouldn’t be like this, I should be more thankful but sometimes I just can’t help it. I just get so mad at myself for not doing better. For example during SOCA [yes SOCA is still on my mind] someone got the same case as me, the same Dosen as me, the same day as me, and yet that person did so much better. SO much better! A gazillion times better than me. And I’d blame myself all over again. I know, I know. Rezeki masing-masing. Dah xde rezeki kan, who are we to question His doings? It just wasn’t my time yet. But I’m only human, you know? I’m not questioning qada’ n qadar here, I’m questioning myself. Haven’t I already learned my lesson? Enough is enough, right? Don’t repeat your past mistakes. You know you don’t want to go through it all over again. Don’t you? So why don’t you try harder??
Sometimes I think I’m so hard on myself. That I shouldn’t beat myself up so much. I know I think too much sometimes. Look here. SOCA was over last week, LAST WEEK and I still can’t get it out of my mind. Every time I hear anybody talking about it, I keep remembering how I let myself down. But then I’d force myself to stop thinking about it. Come on la Ana, get over yourself. Okay, you didn’t do as great as you expected big deal! There are bigger things going on in this world… Just move on and make sure you do better next time, alright?
Easier said than done. Easier said than done.
P:s/ Kecik [the little kitten] makin kurus n macam sakit je. I don’t know if he can make it. L
Post a Comment