Culture vs Family vs Islam

Leave your own practices behind, because now we have the legitimate way to do things.

Where do we draw the line for tolerance?

May Allah ease.



Kita hanya manusia, dan manusia sering terlupa. Marilah mengingatkan sesama kita, moga berjumpa di syurga~

Hijrah

"Engkau tidak meninggalkan sesuatu perkara kerana Allah SWT melainkan Dia pasti menggantikan untukmu sesuatu yang lebih baik dari apa yang kamu tinggalkan itu keranaNya."
Hadis sahih riwayat Imam Ahmad. Kita hanya manusia, dan manusia sering terlupa. Marilah mengingatkan sesama kita, moga berjumpa di syurga~

Gaul.

Manusia, seringkali 'take things for granted'.
Biasanya benda-benda besar kita nampak namun perkara kecil sering kita remehkan... sedangkan perkara yang dikatakan remeh itulah yang mungkin menentukan ke mana destinasi kita di akhirat kelak.


Saya maksudkan hubungan dengan keluarga, jiran dan sahabat-sahabat yang dekat dengan kita.
Bagaimanakah kita menyantuni mereka?


Kadang-kadang, kita fikir disebabkan kita rapat dengan orang itu, maka mereka patut menerima kita seadanya walaupun kita banyak berbuat salah kepada mereka.
Kitalah yang harus memegang pemikiran sebegitu. Bukan mengharapkan orang lain...
Sebagai sahabat, tetangga, anak, adik, kakak atau abang, wajar bahkan wajib untuk kita menyantuni mereka dengan baik dan cermat.


Cuba kita fikirkan sebentar, adakah pernah terdapat kata-kata kita yang menyakiti orang yang terdekat dengan kita? Mungkin tidak kita sedari perkara ini. Atau kita menyangka orang itu tidak marah atau berkecil hati sebab 'kita kan kawan'...


Barangkali terpengaruh dengan cerita-cerita di tv, dimana ada watak-watak sekelompok sahabat yang terlalu jujur antara satu sama lain, hingga ke tahap menghina kawan secara gurauan pun tidak menjadi masalah.


Dari satu sisi, kejujuran mereka itu harus kita contohi. Namun tidaklah sampai akhirnya terlalu jujur hingga menyakiti orang-orang di sekeliling kita dan menyebabkan mereka menjauh dari kita..


"Sesungguhnya manusia paling buruk kedudukannya di sisi Allah adalah orang yang ditinggalkan manusia lain karena ditakut keburukannya.” (HR Imam Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud dan At Tirmidzi)


Semoga kita dijauhkan dari termasuk golongan di atas...
Jujur, itu pasti... Mempunyai sifat rahmah terhadap orang yang dekat dengan kita juga haruslah seiring.


Indahnya Islam, mengajar kita untuk sederhana dalam segala segi.


Jangan melampau, dan jangan meremehkan segala sesuatu. Meskipun titik tengah itu terkadang sukar untuk kita temui, insyaAllah usaha kita ke arah itu sentiasa dinilai olehNya insyaAllah...


Dari ‘Ummul Mu’minin ‘Aisyah ra berkata: Rasulullah Salallahualaihiwassalam bersabda :


“Sebaik-baik kalian adalah orang yang paling baik terhadap keluarganya, dan aku adalah orang yang paling baik terhadap keluargaku.” (HR At-Tirmidzi) 


Cermatilah gurauan yang kita lemparkan.
Hati-hati dengan kata-kata yang kita lontarkan.
Meskipun kita tidak menyukai seseorang, itu bukan lesen untuk kita melayaninya dengan buruk..
Allah itu Maha Pengasih. Dia tidak akan menghukum kita atas apa yang di dalam hati kita, namun Allah akan hukum kita atas apa yang kita lakukan dengan anggota kita.


Terkadang Allah menguji kita dengan orang-orang yang berada di sekeliling kita.
Kita disakiti, adakah kita akan turut menyakiti?
Atau kita tetap memaniskan muka terhadap orang-orang yang mungkin belum memahami?


“Dan janganlah kamu memalingkan mukamu dari manusia (karena sombong) dan janganlah kamu berjalan di muka bumi dengan angkuh. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai orang-orang yang sombong lagi membanggakan diri” ( Luqman: 18).


Ibnu Katsir menjelaskan mengenai ayat tersebut, “Janganlah palingkan wajahmu dari orang lain ketika engkau berbicara dengannya atau diajak bicara. Muliakanlah lawan bicaramu dan jangan bersifat sombong. Bersikap lemah lembutlah dan berwajah cerialah di hadapan orang lain” (Tafsir Al Qur’an Al ‘Azhim, 11: 56).


Susahlah kan hidup ni kalau semua benda nak stress memanjang. Orang yang melihat wajah kita pun jadi serabut. Banyakkan senyum, sedekah free dengan mengeluarkan tenaga dan kontraksi otot yang sedikit :p


Makanya... harus merendahkan hati. Tawadhu' itu amalan hati yang memerlukan hati yang bersih. Sekadar nasihat untuk diri sendiri terutamanya, berusahalah untuk melembutkan hati dalam berbicara.


Bukanlah salah untuk menyampaikan pendapat kita, namun nada yang lembut dan bahasa yang elok itu lebih lunak pada telinga pendengar, bukan? Saya sendiri merasai kesukaran ini, mungkin kerana kononnya tegas jadi percakapan pun tidak terlalu diperhatikan. -_-'
Mungkin sebab tu sekarang dah jadi makin pendiam.
(Not good sebab macam mengelakkan sesuatu tanpa memperbaikinya. Doakan saya ya.)


Apapun sebagai dai'e, suka tak suka, kena jadi approachable. Bukan peramah, kena jadi peramah.
Tak suka senyum, kena banyak senyum. Suka menyorok dalam bilik, kena rajin keluar berjumpa adik-adik.
Pokoknya akhlak kita kena sentiasa diperbaiki dan diperhatikan.


“Sesungguhnya kalian tidak bisa menarik hati manusia dengan harta kalian. Akan tetapi kalian bisa menarik hati mereka dengan wajah berseri dan akhlak yang mulia” (HR. Al Hakim dalam mustadroknya. Al Hakim mengatakan bahwa hadits ini shahih).


Akhirul kalam, semoga kita menjadi manusia yang sentiasa bergerak ke arah kebaikan. Semoga dosa-dosa kita tidak membelenggu kita daripada kembali kepadaNya.

Tipsnya mudah. Peliharalah hubungan dengan Allah. Jangan pernah meninggalkan al-Quran dan mentadabburi ayat-ayatnya kerana di situlah sumber hidayah buat kita sehari-hari...



"dan barangsiapa berpaling dari pengajaran Allah yang Maha Pengasih (al-Quran) , Kami biarkan syaitan (menyesatkannya) dan menjadi teman karibnya" ( Az-Zukhruf 43: 36 )


Gerun bila fikir jika Allah meninggalkan kita, dan di tangan syaitan pulak tu. Memang prognosis buruklah jawabnya. huhu. 


Jom menjadi manusia yang lebih baik! biiznillah... :)




p/s: Adik-adik cakap muka makin berseri-seri sejak kebelakangan ni. Iyolah tu. Nampak sangat rinduu. ekeke


p/s2: Akibat lama tidak menulis, tanda-tanda berkarat sudah kelihatan.


 Kita hanya manusia, dan manusia sering terlupa. Marilah mengingatkan sesama kita, moga berjumpa di syurga~

10 beautiful aspects of a muslimah

Salam alayk..

So here i am copying and pasting shamelessly, again.  I plead guilty to the charge of neglecting this blog. =_= But ideas seem to come at moments when it's impossible for me to jot them down. *alasan*

Short update:

My mini c-ex or long case examinations will be next week. Unfortunately, just when it's the Malaysian students turn to have the exams (we're always the last ones, for IPD anyway) suddenly the residents say that the cases will no longer be known to us, only the divisions of the cases (eg: cardio, pulmo etc)

Seriously. I don't mind if they make some changes but halfway through the exams when most did get the chance to pick their cases?  (I shouldn't be making this public. Oh well who reads this blog anyway)
It's so unfair. But pointing that out is well, pointless so better just make the most of it, aite? Most of it depends on our examiner so please please please let me get a nice one who is generous and kind and will give me good marks (ameen) -> (you still have to study farhana oi)

Please make du'a for me. :) jazakallahu khayran~

Nevertheless, since the story of my life is hardly that much interesting, this brings us to this post's title. I read this at www.turntoislam.com so please don't call me a plagiat ya!

Well, according to the author, these are 10 beautiful aspects of a muslimah. But below it is another title "10 beaufitful aspects Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women" okay so you can just take your pick.  I think he meant beautiful though, not beaufitful *hehe* I wonder what that means.

May Allah grant us the gift of being one, or acquiring one if you get what i mean *smiles*
Ameen.


1. Her Obedience to the Creator: A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing muslim wife (woman); who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness): Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer's nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.[1]

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

...And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning): .

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)
A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty: Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others. Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.
“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness: Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin 'Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: "My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah's Apostle said to me, "O Jabir! Have you married?" I said, "Yes." He said, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "A matron." he said, "Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you." (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness: Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience: Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience: Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking: Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man's Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq: No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported: The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, "Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.'' (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners: A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by 'Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "The best of you are those who possess the best of manners." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

p/s: I wonder what would happen if a muslimah suddenly writes something like 10 charming aspects of a muslim man. I'm sure it would be deemed inappropriate or something. Anyway, its better if we ask that to the scholars, since women tend to follow their heart in these things. And muslim women also are lacking in 'ilm. We are left behind by men, whilst we have a great example in Aishah Radhiyallahu Anh. She was the prophet's wife and known to be very knowledgeable in the deen...

But anyways, I'm sure it already is written somewhere by the ulama'. But it's the same both ways. If you 'want', then 'be' first. All 10 listed above, I'm sure it's not news. We've heard of it before. May Allah give us ease of actually being rather than just knowing... ameen3!

p/s2: For the umpteenth time, I really miss life in Jatinangor. (even though I just came back from there today) I miss my usrah sisters  and life there :(  


But Allah is always teaching us something. 
Always.
And He put me here for a reason so lets not be unthankful...
Allahul musta'an.
A lot of adjustment is needed, most of it is adjusting the mind.


and of course, 
the heart.

Reminder for the soul

“Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui kematian, tapi mengapa ia masih tertawa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang tahu bahawa dunia adalah sementara, tapi mengapa ia sangat mencintainya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui semua urusan telah ditakdirkan, tapi mengapa ia takut kehilangan;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui bahwa hisab adalah suatu kepastian, tapi mengapa ia tetap mengum
pulkan harta dan menghitung-hitungnya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui panasnya api neraka, tapi mengapa ia tetap berbuat dosa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengaku mengenal Allah, tapi mengapa ia meminta tolong kepada selain-Nya;

Aku hairan kepada orang yang mengaku mengetahui kenikmatan syurga, tapi mengapa ia merasa hidup tenang di dunia;

Dan aku hairan kepada orang yang mengetahui syaitan adalah musuhnya, tapi mengapa ia mentaatinya.”

Uthman bin Affan Radhiyallahu anhu
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