After a few weeks of istikharah and istisyarah between the two, I made my decision. I asked quite a few people, and finally decided to follow my earlier decision. The person I thought would be most suitable for me. When I performed the istikharah repeatedly, I felt nothing but calmness and acceptance. So I went ahead.
He answered all my questions, added a few of his own, I replied, then I think that was it.
Shortly, we decided to continue to the next step and inform our parents.
He then requested for us to meet, since he wanted the details of my parents (I could have easily given them online) and also discuss possible dates.
My OT and I personally didn't think it was necessary since I already knew what he looked like, and I didn't have anything to ask him since all the important ones I've already asked, but since he insisted, I complied.
He was living in Bandung at the time, I was in Jatinangor.
We met at one of the mosques nearby. Our OT started by reminding us the utmost reason we wanted to nikah was for Allah and as ibadah, and to always renew our intentions so we may always be in obedience to Allah.
After exchanging details, he asked what was my plan for the future, when did I plan to nikah. I said I wanted to be married within this year, probably December, as I mentioned before. He wanted to confirm if it was my parents wish or mine (my father didn't want a long engagement for us) so I said, both. There were only two possible dates, Syawal or December when there was quite a long holiday. Anyhow, those were for our parents to discuss.
All in all, it was a very short and straightforward taaruf process. I did get to know a little about the kind of person he was while we were in BAIK, albeit from a distance. What was the use of getting to know a person for too long anyway, as you only really know a person after you marry him.
To cut a long story short, on 26th February his family came for merisik. Just before starting clinical training. For me I didn't think it was necessary, why not just straight to bertunang since it's the same thing anyway, but my father is old school, he wanted to follow all the process, n he said I could get two rings -_-" Ayah, ayah..
During the merisik they discussed when our engagement and nikah would be held. Of course, I wasn't at the scene to witness this. My brother came inside the room where I was waiting and said 'Ayook Ana kau bertunang empat bulan je'
What he meant was, we were to be engaged in August and married four months after that, in December. Kurang asam punya abang, saje je bikin suspen -_-'
What never ceases to amaze me is that my father accepted him even without meeting him. I think I gave a picture, I don't really remember, and a few details about him and his family. He was so accepting.
No long interview or hesitance, alhamdulillah:) He probably knew I was a sensible girl and knew how to choose a husband for myself ;) Perasan~
We got engaged on 25th August, there was drama before that as well as my now father in law suggested for us to get married instead of engaged one month before the date!
Both of us were fine with that, except my dad who wanted me to marry on the same day as my sister. Raya wasn't possible since her future FIL was in Italy for training. Besides, there was no way all the documents would be finished on time! So no can do, tunang je lah jawabnya.
24th December, we were married finally. Alhamdulillah, after a year + it all began :)
Pretty simple, no drama, each step was given ease by Allah throughout the process, alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah...
|24/12/2012 in one lafaz, we were united :)|
In October we returned home to settle all the forms, kursus, medical checkup and whatnot, and also my sister in law's wedding in JB. That was the only time our two families met before the wedding, since Selangor and JB isn't a stone's throw away.
So apart from our parents who sometimes 'kirim barang' to us, and once to settle the marriage preparations, we never met except for our weekly ta'lim in Sukagalih, all the time acting like the other didn't exist (malu ok!)
Whenever there was a need to discuss anything, we did, but never through calls since it didn't seem necessary. I was busy anyways, starting my clinicals at the hospital, with three large departments before the marriage, internal medicine, pediatrics and O&G. There was never any 'tanya kabar' as well, just thought that would be weird since he was close by, maybe it was ego too :j
After the marriage, we both said the other was too sombong :))
But insyaAllah, we wanted Allah to bless us, our planned union, although we weren't perfect but we did our best to maintain our relationship with each other and Allah. We were tested, most of them after we were engaged in August with a few issues, but alhamdulillah in the end everything turned out fine.
Now we're waiting for our little bundle of joy to arrive...
5 weeks biiznillah and we'll start another journey together as parents :)
Dearest Muhammad Arif, I love you with all my heart, fiLlah, and I'll never be able to thank Allah enough for blessing me with you :)
You have been Allah's greatest gift to me, although I feel I am forever undeserving.
Allah has lend us to each other, so may this union bring us closer to Him and his forever Jannah.
We've started this baitulmuslim, and may we continue to build this baitulmuslim together...
Until Jannah, insyaAllah.
22nd September 2013.
Two days away from 9 months of marriage, and counting insyaAllah~
p/s: Before anything happened sometimes my friends would tease me with him, one of them saying that usually the amir&amirah would end up getting married like her sis and brother-in-law. That was a few years earlier when we were just given that responsibility. I said, tak mungkin. Reject2. I guess you should never say never.
For me, Islam empowers women in allowing us to choose her own spouses. If someone comes to her in offer of marriage and she is disagreeable, she can easily say no. So there is no difference vice versa.
Marriage is no small thing... There are some things we can be shy about, there are some things we shouldn't be.
We could easily wait, and who's to say there haven't been any to offer their hand, no?
But choosing a spouse is like deciding our heaven and hell. If you feel that someone isn't right, maybe they aren't. As long as you have a valid reason in saying no...
Anyway, there are a few other sources I've read, but am currently unable to find them, and laptop is in Bandung. InsyaAllah later...
So there goes my story.. Puas la hati korang yang nak tau cerita kan..? haha. gitulah ceritanya...
Someone once said: "Marriage does not need love for a start. But blessing is."
Hopefully there's something beneficial somewhere. A little, if not much.
Until next time...
Currently 35 weeks pregnant, 35 days to go if baby follows the schedule ^_^
May Allah ease...
Pray for us, please?