A sister told me the other day when I visited her that she hasn't opened my blog in a while, so she didn't know what I've updated in my blog. And when she did, she found out that I haven't -.-' ('Aik, takde pape pun?')

Yes... Sometimes I just don't feel the 'umph' to write. and if your heart isn't there... What's the use of you doing it.

I've been sick these past 2 weeks plus. Everyday, my stomach hurts so bad and it affects my mood. I'm tired all the time. Exhaustion sets in eventhough I haven't done anything. Although, there may be a lot of activity growing on inside me...

Because the test I took told me that...

I'm pregnant.


We found out the night before I went to Garut.
We were almost completely sure about an hour before I left.
-Yes, that's where I am now, though I do return every weekend.-
and we confirmed it the next week at a clinic after a daurah I went to.
(eventhough technically, the same test is done in the early stages)

But albeit all that, even until now, the reality hasn't set in. 
and deep down, I am sooooo afraid.
Every little thing worries me.
I don't feel pregnant, besides from my tummy making me queasy 
(it could just be due to my dyspepsia)


I'm so anxious and I feel so helpless
but all I can do is pray
that everything is fine
that this little tadpole is growing just fine
please, please be fine

and only when this happens, when I am totally in the dark... do I fully realize...

only unto ALLAH we rely on...


okay, I am out of words...

Please make du'a for me.

InsyaAllah, come what may, it is for the best.


إِنَّ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا رَبُّنَا اللَّهُ ثُمَّ اسْتَقَامُوا تَتَنَزَّلُ عَلَيْهِمُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ أَلَّا تَخَافُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَبْشِرُوا بِالْجَنَّةِ الَّتِي كُنْتُمْ تُوعَدُونَ

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yg mengatakan: "Tuhan kami ialah Allah" kemudian mereka meneguhkan pendirian mereka, maka malaikat akan turun kepada mereka dgn mengatakan: "Janganlah kamu takut & janganlah merasa sedih; & gembirakanlah mereka dgn jannah yg telah dijanjikan Allah kepadamu".

Kita hanya manusia, dan manusia sering terlupa. Marilah mengingatkan sesama kita, moga berjumpa di syurga~

Reminder for the soul

“Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui kematian, tapi mengapa ia masih tertawa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang tahu bahawa dunia adalah sementara, tapi mengapa ia sangat mencintainya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui semua urusan telah ditakdirkan, tapi mengapa ia takut kehilangan;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui bahwa hisab adalah suatu kepastian, tapi mengapa ia tetap mengum
pulkan harta dan menghitung-hitungnya;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengetahui panasnya api neraka, tapi mengapa ia tetap berbuat dosa;

Aku hairan dengan orang yang mengaku mengenal Allah, tapi mengapa ia meminta tolong kepada selain-Nya;

Aku hairan kepada orang yang mengaku mengetahui kenikmatan syurga, tapi mengapa ia merasa hidup tenang di dunia;

Dan aku hairan kepada orang yang mengetahui syaitan adalah musuhnya, tapi mengapa ia mentaatinya.”

Uthman bin Affan Radhiyallahu anhu
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